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Episode 1437 (15 April 1997)
Synopsis The stag and hen parties get under way as Pat and Carol take Bianca over to the Vic for her surprise party. Phil and Grant let Ricky out and ply everyone with cans of beer for the journey to a nightclub. The lads have a conversation about the place of women, and Grant puts forward his theory that it's natural for the blokes to be in charge, if you look at animals like wolves, lions, etc. Sanjay agrees, and says women should know their place, which is to cook for him, iron his shirts and bear his children. Mark points out a flaw in Grant's theory - that a queen bee has the male ones all slaving over her. Grant says that's just bees. Nigel says bees are aliens - have you ever seen their faces under a microscope? All bulging eyes and spiky bits. The girls are having a similarly sexist conversation in the Vic telling Bianca that men are totally useless at everything, and she'll learn when she's married. Bianca says they all seem to be trying to put her off, so Pat says she's sure Ricky will make a good husband for her. Pauline says that at least Ricky's had some practice, because he's been married before. Someone comments that he made a mess of it though, and Peggy says that Sam should never have married him. Pat smoothes things over saying that they were both far too young then, that's all. Pauline agrees, saying that just because he got it wrong before doesn't mean he will again - look at Pat, she's been married four times. Meanwhile, at the nightclub, Nigel manages to spill someone's drink and almost get into a fight. Phil and Grant intervene and suggest that the episode is forgotten, and the bloke who is hassling Nigel says maybe, if all ten of you buy me a drink. Nigel says look, I love a good fight, but we're here for a night out and we'll get thrown out if we do, how about a different way of settling it.. err arm wrestling. Grant agrees keenly, and the aggressive bloke agrees too, and they sit down and roll up their sleeves. They agree the stake is a round and Grant wins. The bloke shakes his hand and gets the drinks in. He asks Phil what he wants, and Phil says orange making the excuse he's driving. The bloke tells him to get a cab and Phil gives in and has a pint of lager. Grant and Nigel are a bit wary about this, but Phil says he knows what he's doing and will just have a couple, and Kathy will never know since they're staying at Nigel's that evening. Ricky tells everyone drunkenly how well-suited he and Bianca are, and she's not like Sam, who wanted to change him, he's happy where he is and just wants everything to stay the same. Meanwhile Bianca is telling Pat she wants to buy their own house as soon as possible. Ricky continues that Bianca is really good with children and she'll probably have one straight away, and he'd like about 10, while Bianca tells Pat that she and Ricky have agreed they don't want kids at all. The two drunken blokes groups team up and the newcomers are a group of workers on a cross-channel ferry from Dover, and have to return at 5am next morning. They suggest going to a club they know near here, which is a bit more interesting for a stag night. Grant agrees, and they all go off there. The ferry guys have a van that they say will be fine and they can all get in there. Simon is conscientiously baby-sitting while Tony wants to tell him about his job. Simon tells him they need to put the children to bed, wash and clean their teeth, etc. Tony is not keen, but agrees if Simon then reads his article. Tony has a long job of trying to get Courtney to sleep, and when he gets back Simon is asleep too. In the Vic, Huw and Lenny are doing the music and Huw says it's a dream come true, just them and all these women. Lenny says most of them are old enough to be his mother, and Huw says he prefers them older, they get up and make you breakfast in the morning. Lenny tries to chat up Bianca, but she says she's not interested, and Lenny asks what Ricky has that he hasn't, and Bianca whispers something in his ear that wipes that perpetual grin off his face. Three odd-looking blokes come in looking for Peggy, and she takes them to the back - they reappear later dressed only in two balloons each and do a little dance which seems to be a copy of the Tiswas/OTT balloon routine. Bianca tells everyone how she trusts Ricky and he won't do anything stupid, and she decides to go home soon, just as Peggy is getting ready for a lock-in party as it's 11pm, so she can no longer serve the public. Carol, Bianca and Tiffany leave and go back to Tiffany's. At the extremely seedy club the blokes arrive in, there is a scantily-clad woman wearing little except a large snake, and she dances around, and Grant waves a 20 pound note behind Ricky's head so she comes over and terrifies Ricky with the snake. They all carry on drinking for a while, until Ricky falls off his chair, while he's being fed pints and cigars and the ferry gang say they'll just have one more drink for the road...and one for the sea. Someone mentions the bridegroom, and he says, right one for the road, one for the sea and one for the groom, and orders three more rounds of drinks! Everyone is totally drunk, and Alan, Roy, Michael, Mark and Robbie, who was found asleep in the toilets, wander outside looking for the others. They assume that they have taken Ricky home, and say that they had better just get back to Walford, the others had to get the bridegroom home. They get into the van that brought them from Walford. Meanwhile, Grant, Phil, having had far more than just the couple of pints he promised, Nigel and Ricky are lying semi-conscious in the transit van on the A2 to Dover. Credits Main cast *Pat Evans - Pam St. Clement *Carol Jackson - Lindsey Coulson *Bianca Jackson - Patsy Palmer *Phil Mitchell - Steve McFadden *Grant Mitchell - Ross Kemp *Ricky Butcher - Sid Owen *Sanjay Kapoor - Deepak Verma *Mark Fowler - Todd Carty *Pauline Fowler - Wendy Richard *Nigel Bates - Paul Bradley *Peggy Mitchell - Barbara Windsor *Tony Hills - Mark Homer *Simon Raymond - Andrew Lynford *Lenny Wallace - Desune Coleman *Tiffany Mitchell - Martine McCutcheon *Huw Edwards - Richard Elis *Alan Jackson - Howard Antony *Robbie Jackson - Dean Gaffney *Michael Rose - Russell Floyd *Roy Evans - Tony Caunter Guest cast * Category:Episode Category:1997 Episodes